Beautiful, sunny Grand Rapids, MI!
Hey, at least there are no hurricanes, killer bees, or earthquakes. And if you get sick there are more hospitals and medical facilities in GR than you can imagine.
Ok, Ok... I know it's not practical, us being on a peninsula and all... How about Toledo, OH?
And, yes, I know... Toledo and GR are both midwest towns but Seattle, Dallas, and Orlando are a million miles away...